I haven’t posted here in a long while, mainly because I’ve been exhausted. Work has also kept me busy. Suffice to say, it’s been a life-altering time for me.

Last month, I was feeling quite good about myself. I was figuring out my body, lost approximately 7 pounds despite my inability to lose weight for a number of years. I still struggled with IBS, but I finally felt like I had control. Then I found out I was pregnant.

This didn’t take me completely by surprise. My husband and I were trying for another child. I felt I was mentally prepared for this, but I wasn’t. I went from feeling in control of my body to not having any control at all. My daily workout routine fell apart due to morning sickness and dizziness and dwindled down to nothing. Instead of losing weight, I had to feel comfortable with gaining weight. My diet also took hit, since many of the foods I had been eating started causing me to be sick. This really made me feel down, still does, but I know my hormones are running haywire.

I’m still in the early stages of pregnancy, almost 10 weeks along. In the last week, I’ve been able to walk daily for about 20 minutes. My IBS exasperates my “morning sickness,” but I’ll need to stick to my diet as best as I can to manage it. I’m happy to be pregnant, but I need to come to terms with it. I’m not fully in control anymore and that’s okay.